I will!

On my way to collect my race pack from AHM. As I sit in the bus and listen to my iPod, I was wondering so what have I achieved so far in my life...

And it only take less than a minute to make me feel rather depress about this topic. There is no great achievement in my life that I can call it mine. There is no longer a sense of adventure, a sense of excitement in my life. I have been living life day to day as it is. I have stop living.

I try to look back and try to find the day that it has happened but I cannot pin point the exact day. So how as I grow older, I lost my sense of adventure. I become more scared of failure. I try to fit in to the normal main stream...

I need to find back my sense of adventure. My courage to try new things and to fail. I need to live life on the edge. I need to stop wasting space.

I WILL LIVE MY LIVE ON THE EDGE. zuLeichtistzuLangweilig.

Time

One day, I woke up and all of a sudden. At an unexpected moment. I felt older. I feel that it is time that I should perhaps do something more meaningful with my life. I felt that what I am doing now lack a certain meaning, but I am at a lost of what to do exactly.

If were to die tomorrow, would I have any regrets?

The answer now is Yes.

How do I make it a No...

iPhone

It's been a long while since I blog about anything at all. There is a lot of thoughts running in my head and many things that I want to write down. Some i jotted it down in my hand written journal. Some I keep my brain. Some are just passing rants. But all are not meant for the world wide web... If not for the app on my beloved iPhone, I don't think I will be here at all. Oh well....

Looking forward to my long break. One more week.

Random.

wanderlust

home for about 2 weeks. can feel the wanderlust slowly creeping up on me. but i feel like a weary traveller. i want to stay at home for a while more. but there is still so much to see in the world. so much to explore. so much to experience. but i think i am taking a break for a while.

travel. a mean to get home. ~ uk ikea advert

think i want to stay at home with family and friends for a while before my next adventure...

think i a wanderer in spirit...

Random Thoughts

Back in the college at dartmouth. was just surfing the web and lsitening to music on haoting.com, listening to li sheng jie. never really listen to his songs but since the computer here cannot read chinese, i based on luck and just randomly pick something and the album turn out to be quite good.

had my PADs today, now it is one phase down and one more to go. 7 and a half weeks. it is not a very long time. hell. if you look at it. 7 months itself is not a long time also. but is sometimes feels like eternity. sometimes.

IST is the best phase for me so far. I made a few good friends and most or all of them not local. maybe because we are inteh same boat/ ship we can relatee better. but i am grateful for these friends that i have made cos they made me feel a little bit of warmth in a place where i had felt isolated at times....

i wish i am home...

Grass is Greener

With 7 min left on my computer time. i thought i would put in a few words on to my blog wihch i am sure have no other reader than my self. ( it doesn't have much reader to start with anyway).

People also think that grass is greener on the other side, moon is rounder as the chinese saying goes. I think i used to be one of them. nut having being to the other side. I can only say that the grass is definately different here. which type of grass you prefer is entirely up to you. i would like to say, although the grass on my side is not the greenest by any standard or the best but i like it just fine. i just can't wait to go back to my own side now. Other side is revserve and good for exposure. I would still always like exploring. but home will always be home, no matter the colour of the grass.

14 degrees Summer

It is suppose to be the tail end of summer here, but it is bloody 14 degree. since when is summer 14 degrees. The sunny little island that i grew up in have summer all year round and it is no where near 14 degree. well, guess i have no choice but to get use to the weather and the temperature. today, there is actually someone that told me, quite warm isn't it.... err... no i said i think it is quite cold... haha...

but all in all i must say that this is a beautiful place. Will upload the pictures that i had taken asap. real work starting soon, not sure how much time i would have to come to one of the internet terminal to update...

anyway just to let everyone know.

Don't worry! I am safe and sound here in Dartmouth! Just a little cold. ( think i will get over it, i hope). =)

p.s my msn contact list got wipe out by some stupid virus. please msn me a msg when i am online or drop me a e-mail for your msn contact at irau_wei@yahoo.com.sg so that i can add you back to my contact list. thanks.

Untittled

pissed. jaded. depressed. watever. at myself mostly. how did i ended up in this state. shit. damn.

Random Weather

it is not hot. it is damn bloody hot. cannot feel the wind at all. i think that i am not a kind person by nature. i do not like to be taken for granted. earn the respect you want from me and i am not anyone freaking maid or anything. my life is my own. if choose to help you or do something for you, that is because you are my friend. but let me remind you again. do not take it for granted, i can be seriously mean if i want to. seriously.

i think the weather is getting to me. i need an air-con.

Nostalgia

went back to st nicks today. for the fun fair. it is a trip down the memories lane. some teachers that taught me are still around after so many years. except for the colours, the school did not change much. it feels good to be back in school. to just wander around and look at familar sight. seeing the (much) younger batch of old girls dancing the family dance, you suddenly realise how old you are getting and and how much you have changed and learn.

they are tearing the school down and rebuiling it on the same spot. i hope that despite the need to improve the facilities of the school, more importantl, the cultures and the traditions of the school are presevered and carry on. for this is the st nicks spirit and what bond us together.

on a side note, the fun fair nowadays are of a much bigger scale as compared to last time with all the Mr. Ringo Ride and stuff. and to think that i would meet xiao zhang there... that is a surprise...

Back

i am back on the little red dot i call home. seen dolphins, sunsets, sunrises, sharks, stars. things that i do not really how to put in words. things that even if i describe to you you might not even understand, so why should i even bother in the first place. things that you have to see it to feel it. things that you have to experience yourself first hand to understand. made new friends. lost touch with some. 38 days. some gain some lost. gain faith in some. lost faith in some. seem more. feel more. learnt more. think some...

sailing soon. not sure if should be scared or excited.

3 Months

It has been 3 months since i decided to join the navy and set off to tekong. at the start of everything 3 months seems so long and you thought that it would never end, but bmt pass faster than you thought then all of a sudden it is over. it is then the beginning of the next phase and two weeks later, we will all be seperated again. from 12 to 9 to 6. a different platoon a different section.haiz. guess that is life.

missed our bunk in tekong.

taurus 3! up ah!

The Day I Turned In My Employee Badge

050707 marks the day i turn in my employee badge and ending my first official job after graduation. It also marks the preparation for another major decision that i had made in my life. one i hope i don't regret. it's already too late for any regrets.

放手一搏

Simple mathematics. If I live until 65. I am not going to count the year where i am old and walking at snail pace... (Please note that this is an estimation. I might longer or I might liver shorter. I mean who knows...) Then I am 23. So...

65- 23= 42

42years= 2184weeks=15288days=366912hours

If I sleep 8hrs a day on an average... and i do need to sleep everyday. then the amount of time is = 8(15288)= 122304hrs
--> no. of hour left= 366912-122304=244608hrs

If i work an average of 9 hours a day for 5 days a week. ( This is not including OT or if i work somewhere where there is no 5 days work week)
amt of time spend working= 5(2184)(9)=98280hrs
--> no. of hours left= 244608-98280= 146328hrs

if i spend an anverage of 4 hours doing other stuff (like eating, showering etc..) then= 4(15288)= 61152
--> no. of hours left= 146328-61152= 85176hrs

85176hrs thats all i have left of my life to do whatever i want. that might sound like alot but infact:
85176hrs= 9.75years.

9.75years to see the world, to do whatever i want to do. NOT ENOUGH TIME!

so to increase time to see the world= decrease time spend in working. Every 1 year i spend less in working= 52(5)(9)= 2340hrs more to do what i want. so early retirement is the answer!

to have an early retirement and be rich enough to see the world in what ever way i want= i have to 放手一搏.

If i get to retire at 40... I will have 120276hrs of free time= 13.75years...

12 Hours to Boracay

it is worth it. i want to go again.

Boracay

Back from Boracay. Waiting for next year's.

Work Like You Do Not Need the Money

When? When can i work like i no need the money. Work because i want to, because it is something i love. All i know is that currently this is impossible. Not at this moment, not anytime. But I know one day i will. One day, I will travel the world. One day, I will see at the best seat at The Phantom of the Opera. (I will see phantom walk on the top of the stage, I will see a whole corpse, not only the legs of the Corpse.) One Day...

Okay stop dreaming and back to work...

Long Weekend

Yeah! it is thursday with a long weekend to look forward to. When you stuck in the big old boring working world what more could you ask for right. ok, maybe more annual leave and a higher pay or a more interesting job scope. But right now, i shall be content with the 4 days long week-end. away from all the e-mail answerings and phone ringging, free to do what i want= slack at home and watch tv?
WAHAHA...

Yeah! it is thursday with a long weekend to look forward to. When you stuck in the big old boring working world what more could you ask for right. ok, maybe more annual leave and a higher pay or a more interesting job scope. But right now, i shall be content with the 4 days long week-end. away from all the e-mail answerings and phone ringging, free to do what i want. WAHAHA